They regrouped by the wagon to assess their injuries. There were a few cuts and scrapes, but nobody was seriously injured. Brianna had been run through by one lucky swordsman, but being a zombie apparently had its good side, because she seemed to be just fine. She was trying to convince Lon of that, and he wasn’t cooperating. Aidan left the couple to their argument and wandered away from the battleground. Flame Song, who’d reverted to human form, tagged after him.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. You?”

“I’m fine,” she answered.

Aidan looked at her. He knew she preferred being a firecat to being human, most of the time. “How come you’re back in human form so soon?”

"I couldn’t keep the firecat shape going. There’s something about this world that just won’t let me. It was all I could do not to change back in the middle of the battle.”

“Huh. That's odd. I suppose it's just one more annoying thing about this horrible place." The wagon started moving again, the driver having reappeared from wherever he’d been hiding.

Aidan didn't really feel like riding anymore, so they walked alongside together for a while. Eventually Flame spoke. “Aidan, I keep thinking about how you killed that man. What did you mean when you said, ‘Better him than you.’?”

“I don’t want to have to depend on you for… for blood the whole time I’m here in this crazy world. You can’t afford to lose blood that often. So, well… better that I take from people like that. Though I didn’t kill him, you know.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. He may still die, but he was breathing when I left him.”

“Oh. I had assumed… well, I shouldn’t have.” She went silent again.

“What’s bothering you, Flame?”

“I… You’re a gentle man,” she said softly. “And I mean that in the most literal sense. It’s part of what I love about you. Underneath the jokes and the thieving you’re a wonderfully kind person. I don’t want that to change. I don’t ever want it to change. I thought… I was afraid that you’d killed that man, that you were starting to change.”

"I've killed before, Flame. Not often, but I have. And I may well have killed that man too."

“I don’t like that thought. I don’t want you to be a killer.”

"What about you? There was blood enough on your claws tonight, and you've killed before."

Flame sighed. “I’m a hunter, Aidan. I always have been. And yes, I’ve been a killer too. It’s part of what I am. There is..." she paused, looking for the words. "There is something in me, in my nature, that's accustomed to death. I don't like it, I never will, but I can feel the necessity of it, and can do it without guilt, without having it on my soul. You're different though. So light-hearted, so… I don’t know, almost innocent. Whenever you mention that first time you had to kill you seem to be suffering for it. It does weigh on your soul, and if you add enough weights like that, they will change you, they can't help but change you..”

Aidan took her hand, holding it gently as they continued to walk. “We all change, love. There’s no way to help it. And I don’t know if innocent is the word.” He added with a smile.

“Possibly not,” she agreed, smiling back. “And I know changes will come. But… I don’t want you to become somebody I don’t recognize. Promise me that you won’t start to enjoy blood and death Aidan. Just promise me that.”

“I can promise that without reservation. I hate being a vampire. I hate needing blood. I can’t wait until we find the shard and can leave this horrible world.” That was all true, but what Aidan tried not to admit to himself was that there had been a certain undeniable pleasure in taking the vampire hunter’s blood. He hadn’t needed to hold back, hadn’t worried about consequences, and it had been good. Too good. It would be so easy, he thought. There are enough thugs out there for me to justify it. I could say I was doing the world a favor by ridding it of criminals. But I would be just as much in the wrong as those vampire hunters. They thought they were doing the world a favor by ridding it of the evil undead, and they almost killed good people doing it. I wouldn't want to become something like that.

Flame smiled at him and squeezed his hand. He returned the gentle pressure and the smile too. “I agree,” she said. “Though who knows what the next world will be like. Maybe it will be worse.”

“Don’t say that! Ugh… I don’t even want to think about what could be worse than this.”